As I struggle to fall asleep (a common ritual of my nights that feels almost second nature now.) My thoughts have been drawn to loved ones, mainly how one sentence brought back all the feelings I thought I didn’t feel anymore.
My memories - Big, small, happy, sad, all they seem to do nowadays is haunt me, they drag me down until I’m overwhelmed, I feel sick and twisted. I wish someone could come along and erase the memories I don’t want and the feelings I don’t want.
Maybe then for once I could feel normal again like life wasn’t trying to constantly fuck me over, maybe I could start remembering what feeling happy and care free felt like.
It’s a wish and a stupid one that will never come true sadly….